FLIRTING CRUSH

Can you tell if they’re actually into you? Or are they just nice?

is someone into you

So, there you are again, lying in bed and replaying the last conversation in your head like it’s the Zapruder film. They smiled a little too long, right? And did they really need to brush your arm when passing by? Was that on purpose? Or are you now fully losing your mind over someone who just shares a Spotify taste with you?

This is one of those weird, annoying life things that nobody really teaches you how to read. Romance doesn’t come with subtitles. And figuring out if someone likes you back? That’s the real mind game.

But don’t worry—you’re not the only one squinting at texts and overanalyzing emojis. We surveyed 314 people across different age groups (18–45) and asked what signs made them know someone was into them—and what turned out to be nothing but wishful thinking.

Turns out, some signs are more reliable than others. And some? Total red herrings.

They want to talk to you. Like... a lot.

One of the biggest green lights: effort. When someone’s into you, they’ll make time to talk—even if it’s just sending memes or texting “what are you doing” at midnight when no one is actually doing anything.

According to the survey, 71% said consistent messaging or calling was their first clue someone liked them romantically.

“It’s not about the frequency alone,” says relationship therapist Dr. Elena Brooks. “It’s about emotional availability. Are they asking questions that go beyond surface-level stuff? Do they remember things you said last week? That shows interest beyond friendship.”

So if they remember your weird allergy to raw carrots or the fact that you cried at the end of Shrek 2, that’s not nothing.

They find ways to be near you

People in love get weird about proximity. It’s not subtle either. They’ll suddenly show up to the same events. They’ll “accidentally” sit next to you. And somehow, they’re always free when you’re free.

It’s like magnets. Except, you know, human.

One woman in the survey said, “I knew he liked me because he started joining my Tuesday trivia nights even though he didn’t care about trivia and had work early the next day.”

So yeah, people don’t rearrange their whole sleep schedule for nothing.

There’s a vibe shift in how they talk to you

Flirting styles vary, but there’s usually a switch that flips. Maybe it’s teasing, compliments, or just a slightly different tone in messages—more emojis, quicker replies, longer texts.

Guys in the 25–34 age range in our survey said they were more likely to use humor to flirt. Women in the same group leaned into compliments and deeper personal conversation.

But again, context matters. Some people are just naturally flirty. Some people have the emotional tone of a cactus.

One clue: Are they talking to you differently than they talk to others?

They get a little... weird? But in a cute way

You ever see someone go from confident to suddenly fumbling their words around their crush? It’s a thing. People get nervous. And when you like someone, your brain short-circuits a little.

“It’s not uncommon for people to act clumsier or more awkward around someone they like,” says psychologist Dr. Leo Ramirez. “Attraction activates anxiety—especially when someone cares about the outcome.”

So if they go from chill to dropping their keys every time you walk in the room, yeah, they might be into you.

Their friends act strange

This one’s gold. Pay attention to the friends.

If they know their friend has a thing for you, they might act all giggly or tease them in front of you. Or they suddenly know a lot about you—despite barely talking to you before. One person in our survey said, “Her best friend brought me up during a group conversation out of nowhere. That’s when I knew.”

When the friends start planting seeds, that’s a sign.

They remember the little stuff

We’re not talking about your birthday (everyone’s got Facebook reminders). We’re talking about that offhand comment you made about liking sea otters or how you once said your favorite color is mustard yellow.

If they start showing up with otter memes or wearing mustard yellow hoodies “by coincidence,” congratulations—they're definitely into you.

People don’t keep a mental Pinterest board of your personality for no reason.

They ask about your relationship status

This seems obvious, but it comes up in sneaky ways. They’ll casually ask, “So, are you seeing anyone right now?” Or they’ll comment on people you’ve dated with a weird tone that’s a little bit judgey.

One guy said, “She’d always ask about my dating life, but only after asking five other random things first. It was like, ‘So how’s work? Are you still watching Succession? Also, are you dating that girl from Instagram?’”

Classic move.

But wait—here’s where people get it wrong

Sometimes people confuse kindness with interest. This is tricky, especially with people who are naturally warm and generous.

Don’t assume someone’s into you just because they remembered your coffee order or helped you move a couch once. That’s just basic human decency (or a really strong back).

Dr. Brooks says, “We tend to project our own feelings onto others. If we like someone, we look for signs to confirm it, even if they’re not there. That’s why it’s helpful to check for a pattern of behavior—not just isolated moments.”

So, how can you really tell?

There’s no foolproof method, unfortunately. Human behavior is messy and weird and inconsistent. But if you’re seeing several of these signs, and especially if you feel like there’s a different energy when you’re with them—that’s worth noticing.

Of course, you could always just ask. But that’s terrifying, so... maybe not today.

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