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Different types of being demiromantic and signs you’re one

being demiromantic

Being demiromantic isn’t something that gets talked about as much as it should. A lot of people have never even heard of it, and those who have might not fully get what it means. At its core, being demiromantic means you don’t feel romantic attraction to someone unless you’ve formed a deep emotional connection with them first. It’s not about avoiding romance or being anti-love—it’s just how some people naturally experience their feelings.

But here’s the thing: even within the demiromantic experience, there’s a lot of variety. Not everyone who identifies this way feels or experiences romance in exactly the same way. So, let’s break it down a bit and talk about what it can look like, plus some signs that might make you go, “oh, that sounds like me!”

What does being demiromantic mean in practice?

Being demiromantic can show up in different ways depending on the person. Some might find they only feel romantic attraction after knowing someone for years, while others might feel it after a few months of a close friendship. It’s not really about the timeline, though—it’s more about the connection.

For some, that connection might come from shared deep conversations or supporting each other through hard times. For others, it might come from just spending a lot of time together and building trust.

What’s important to remember is that being demiromantic doesn’t mean you’ll never feel romantic attraction—it just takes more than what some people might describe as a “spark” or “love at first sight.”

Different types of demiromantic experiences

Just like no two relationships are exactly the same, no two demiromantic people are exactly alike. Here are a few different ways being demiromantic can show up:

  • Strictly demiromantic: Some people only feel romantic attraction after that emotional bond is solid. There’s no middle ground for them—it’s either there or it’s not.
  • Semi-demiromantic: This might sound funny, but it’s real. Some people feel romantic attraction every now and then without an emotional connection, but it’s rare. Most of the time, they need that bond first.
  • Gray-demiromantic: This is kind of in the middle between demiromantic and grayromantic. Folks here might experience romantic attraction in certain situations or very infrequently, but emotional connection is still a huge factor.
  • Mixed romantic orientations: Some demiromantic people might also identify with other romantic orientations. For example, someone could be demiromantic and also panromantic, meaning they’re open to romantic feelings for people of any gender, but only after forming that emotional bond.

Signs you might be demiromantic

If you’ve ever felt like your experience with romance is a little different from how most people describe it, you’re not alone. There are some things demiromantic people often share, and while not every sign will fit perfectly, they might help things click for you:

  • "Love at first sight" doesn’t make sense to you: Maybe your friends get excited about someone they just met, but for you, it feels like they're rushing into something. You might need time to actually know someone before any kind of romantic feelings even start to develop.
  • Romantic feelings take their sweet time: When you do fall for someone, it’s not because of a single moment or a first impression. It’s more like a slow build-up, where emotions grow naturally as you spend time together and get close.
  • Emotional connection matters more than anything else: For you, it’s not about surface-level things like looks or charm. What really makes you click with someone is how deeply you connect on an emotional level. Without that, romance feels... well, kind of empty.
  • You’ve been told to “give it a shot” when you didn’t feel ready: Maybe people have tried to push you toward dating someone who seemed “perfect” for you on paper, but deep down, you just couldn’t do it because you didn’t feel anything romantic yet—or maybe you never did.
  • The idea of “the spark” doesn’t match your experience: While some folks get swept up in those instant feelings, you might wonder if there’s something wrong with you for not feeling the same way. Spoiler alert: there’s nothing wrong at all—it’s just how you work.
  • You’ve asked yourself, “Am I just not into romance?” It’s easy to mistake being demiromantic for being aromantic or even just being picky. But once you understand that your feelings develop differently, it starts to make sense.
So, yeah—being demiromantic is just… different. And that’s okay. It’s not always easy when everyone around you seems to fall in love at first sight, and you’re sitting there like, “Uh, I guess I kinda like them? Maybe? Ask me again in six months.” But honestly, there’s nothing wrong with that.

If anything in this article made you go, “Wait, that’s me,” then congrats—you’ve got a word for it now. And having words for things? That helps. A lot.

At the end of the day, you don’t have to rush, you don’t have to force it, and you definitely don’t have to feel broken just because your version of romance doesn’t look like a movie montage set to an indie love song. You’re fine. You’re you. And that’s more than enough.

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