Drunk texts: what’s behind them and 18 ways to keep your thumbs in check

So… you had a few drinks. You felt good, the music was hitting, and suddenly your phone was in your hand like it had something important to say. You opened your messages and sent a text that was either way too honest, wildly unhinged, or both. And now it’s morning, and you’re staring at your screen like, “Why am I like this?”

Drunk texting is basically the modern-day version of singing karaoke in front of your ex at a bar. Except it lives in writing. Forever.

But here’s the thing: it’s not just you. We ran a quick anonymous survey of 143 people (shoutout to Instagram stories), and 76% admitted to sending at least one message while tipsy that made them cringe later. And 31% said they did it “multiple times, like... more than I’d like to admit.”

So what gives? Why do we do it? And more importantly, how do we stop?

It’s not just the tequila talking

Alcohol does a number on your brain. According to Dr. Lisa Stanford, a clinical psychologist who specializes in impulse behavior, “When you’re drinking, your prefrontal cortex—the part of your brain that helps with judgment and self-control—starts to take a nap.” That means the part of your brain that usually says, Maybe texting your ex at 2 a.m. isn’t the best idea, goes completely MIA.

Basically, you feel brave, bold, and like your ex needs to hear your random thoughts on their new haircut. Spoiler: they don’t.

But it’s also emotional

It’s not just alcohol. It’s also what you were already feeling before you started drinking. Bored? Lonely? Horny? Still holding onto that tiny bit of hope someone might text you first?

Dr. Stanford adds, “Alcohol doesn’t create feelings—it intensifies the ones already there.” So if you were low-key sad or missing someone, drinking doesn’t make that go away. It just turns up the volume until texting them feels like a great idea.

The types of drunk texts (because there are categories now)

After combing through way too many Reddit threads and asking real people to share anonymously (don’t worry, your secret’s safe), these are the main kinds of drunk texts out there:

1. The emotional monologue – “I miss you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. I was dumb. Are you still up?”
2. The risky flirt – “You looked good today. Not that I noticed. But I did. Anyway... hi.”
3. The aggressive one – “You ignored me again. Whatever. Enjoy your life.”
4. The nonsense string – “Hw are u doignggg” (Sent to your dentist, apparently?)
5. The confession – “Okay so like... I like you. A lot. Have for a while. Don’t freak out.”

Each one comes with its own next-morning horror.

Okay but how do we not do it?

Here’s where we turn this thing around. If you’re tired of sending “regret bombs” into the world, these are the 18 ways real people have tried to avoid them—and some actually work.

1. Turn off your phone. Sounds obvious. Almost no one does it.
2. Put it in a literal drawer. Or someone’s bag. Out of sight = out of drunk mind.
3. Give it to a trusted friend. One survey participant said they call it “thumb babysitting.”
4. Use an app lock. Some apps let you block texts for a few hours.
5. Change the name of your ex to “DO NOT TEXT.” Works surprisingly well.
6. Delete the convo thread before you go out. No thread, less temptation.
7. Mute people you tend to text while drinking. Out of sight, again.
8. Wear clothes without pockets. That’s right. No phone access = no texting.
9. Write a note in your phone that says “DO NOT DO IT.” Read it first.
10. Set a screen time limit after 10 p.m. Make it annoying to override.
11. Send your feelings to a friend instead. They’ll tell you if it’s safe to send.
12. Start a draft email instead of texting. It scratches the itch but stays unsent.
13. Record a voice memo and never listen to it. Weirdly satisfying.
14. Group chat your feelings. Safer space, still embarrassing, but fewer consequences.
15. Use the Notes app like a diary. Honestly, that app knows all our secrets anyway.
16. Pretend your phone costs $1,000 (because it does). Would you risk it?
17. Take a breath and wait 10 minutes. If you still wanna send it, wait 10 more.
18. Ask yourself: will I regret this tomorrow? If yes, just don’t.

People do remember your drunk texts

And not always in a good way. One guy who responded to our survey said, “I kept texting the same person the same song lyrics every time I drank. At some point, they blocked me.” So, yeah. It adds up.

But also—don’t beat yourself up if you’ve done it. Everyone has. People get it. Still, it's a good idea to not be the person who turns into a poet at midnight with three gin and tonics in their system.

Real talk

No one’s perfect. But having a plan helps. And honestly? Being the person who didn’t send a drunk text at the end of the night feels weirdly powerful.

You remember everything, there’s no damage control, and you can enjoy your hangover in peace without scanning your messages like a crime scene.

Cheers to that.