When someone constantly invalidates your feelings, it’s exhausting. You start questioning yourself: *Am I really being dramatic? Am I too sensitive?* But here’s the thing — your feelings are valid, full stop.
So what can you actually do when this keeps happening?
Step back and notice the pattern
First, take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Is this a one-off thing or is it happening all the time? Does he do this only with you, or with others too? Sometimes, people invalidate feelings because they’re uncomfortable with emotions in general. Other times, it’s about control — keeping the focus away from their own actions.
Pay attention to how often it happens and in what situations. Writing it down can help you see patterns you might miss in the moment.
Don’t try to “prove” your feelings
It’s really tempting to explain, justify, or convince him that your feelings are valid. But here’s the hard truth: if someone wants to dismiss your emotions, they’ll find a way no matter how clearly you explain. You don’t have to turn every feeling into a debate.
Instead of arguing for your emotions, try saying something like: “I’m telling you how I feel, not asking for permission to feel this way.” Short, simple, direct.
Check in with your own boundaries
Repeated invalidation can mess with your sense of what’s okay and what’s not. You might start shrinking your feelings down to make them more “acceptable.” Take a minute to ask yourself: *What do I need from him right now?* Is it empathy? An apology? Or just space to vent without being told you’re wrong?
If he’s unwilling or unable to meet those needs, that’s important information.
Bring it up outside the heat of the moment
Trying to address invalidation *while* you’re already feeling dismissed usually doesn’t go well. If you’re able, bring it up later, when emotions aren’t running high. You could say something like: “I’ve noticed that when I share how I feel, you sometimes tell me I’m overreacting. It makes me feel like I can’t talk to you about things.”
You’re not blaming — you’re naming what’s happening. And how he responds will tell you a lot.
Know when it’s not fixable
Here’s the tough part. If you’ve communicated clearly, tried different approaches, and he still shuts you down every time you open up, it might be time to ask yourself some bigger questions.A relationship where your emotions aren’t taken seriously can chip away at your confidence and self-worth. It’s not dramatic to want a partner who listens and respects what you feel.
At the end of the day, you deserve to be heard. You deserve to feel like your emotions matter. If he keeps invalidating you — no matter how nicely you ask, no matter how much you try — maybe it’s not *you* that needs to change.
And that’s not being sensitive. That’s being real.