Why Do You Love Someone?

why do you love someone

Love, that four-letter word that has spurred timeless songs and iconic movie moments. It’s an emotion that has mystified us for centuries. Each one of us, at some point in our lives, has been caught in its enigmatic web, trying to decipher its meaning. From the flutter in your stomach when you see your partner to the comfort of a shared memory, love is a complex tapestry woven of various threads. And while we might express it through chocolates, roses, or heartfelt notes, understanding its root is a pursuit as old as humanity itself. In today's exploration, we'll dive deep into this universal sentiment, shedding light on the age-old question: Why do we truly love someone?

1. Chemistry, Not Just A Subject

It's not just about the sparks flying or butterflies fluttering. When we say there's 'chemistry' between two people, we're not far off from the truth. Hormones like oxytocin, known as the 'love hormone,' flood our system when we're close to someone we love. Dr. Helen Fisher's research throws light on this phenomenon. When you're newly in love, dopamine, another hormone that makes you feel euphoric, spikes up in the brain. So, that addictive, heady feeling? That's pure science at work.

2. Shared Experiences

Remember the last time you both laughed so hard your stomachs hurt? Or that trip where everything went haywire, but it's a story you tell again and again? Going through moments, both sweet and challenging, cements a bond. Dr. Arthur Aron's research supports this, emphasizing that when couples undertake new activities together, it reignites the feelings similar to the initial stages of romance.

3. Compatibility

Yes, the exciting allure of opposites attracting is real, but what about the long haul? Being on the same page when it comes to core values and life goals strengthens a relationship. A Michigan State University study discovered that couples who had a lot in common often found long-term happiness together.

4. Emotional Security

Having someone to confide in, to share your highs and lows, and just knowing they've got your back, provides a deep sense of security. It's comforting, reassuring. Dr. Gary Lewandowski's research underlines the importance of this aspect, showing that partners who act as each other's pillars of strength often report stronger feelings of love.

5. Physical Attraction

physical attraction

A lingering touch, a soft gaze, the electricity when your hands brush - the physical aspect is undeniably significant. University of Louvain research showed that while looks might be the initial draw, for love to deepen, it's essential for physical connection to blend with emotional intimacy.

6. Mutual Respect

You know what's truly attractive? When your partner recognizes your worth, values your opinions, and celebrates your achievements. Respect is a love amplifier. Studies from the Gottman Institute reveal that couples who respect each other enjoy a deeper and more fulfilling love connection.

7. Vulnerability

Showing your true self, scars and all, can be daunting. But it's in these moments of raw honesty, when you share your fears and dreams, that love finds a deeper meaning. Dr. Brené Brown's groundbreaking work highlights how vulnerability in relationships paves the way for profound love and connection.

8. Evolutionary Factors

Going back to our primal roots, certain aspects of love are instinctual. We are drawn to traits that signify a good, strong partner, attributes that evolutionary biologists believe have been hardwired into us to ensure the best chances of survival.

9. Childhood and Upbringing

The environment you grew up in, the kind of love you witnessed as a child, often molds your love language. Dr. Harville Hendrix suggests that we might subconsciously seek partners resembling our caregivers, not to relive our childhood but perhaps to mend or understand it better.

10. The X-Factor

x factor

Sometimes, all the analysis, studies, and introspection can't answer why you're drawn to someone. It's intangible, inexplicable. Some call it fate, others destiny. Whatever it is, this mysterious X-factor is what makes love uniquely personal and universally enchanting.

[Read: 50 Reasons That Illuminate Why I Love You]


After this journey through the intricate lanes of love, one thing remains clear: love is multifaceted. It’s a blend of biology, experience, emotion, and sometimes, sheer inexplicable magic. It's the unspoken words shared in a glance, the shared laughter on a lazy Sunday, the mutual dreams dreamed on starry nights, and the solace found in each other's arms after a tough day. While we've peeled back some layers of this emotion, love, in all its glory, retains its mystery, reminding us of its unparalleled beauty and depth. As we move forward in our lives, may we continue to cherish this emotion, appreciate its complexities, and always remain in awe of its power to transform and uplift.


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