So there’s this whole myth that guys are super complicated or hard to read. But honestly? Most of the time, what sticks with them isn’t some huge over-the-top moment. It’s something way simpler. Weirdly simple.
I’m talking about confidence. Yeah yeah, everyone says that word. But I don’t mean it in the “pose like a boss babe on Instagram” kinda way. I mean like... when you’re relaxed, playful, a little bold, and totally into the moment. THAT.
I once asked a friend what his most unforgettable night with someone was, and he said, “She didn’t even do anything crazy. She just kept smiling like she had a secret, kissed me like it was the last time, and joked around like we were kids. I still think about it.”
That kinda says it all.
Men aren’t sitting around rating you like a movie. They just want to feel like you’re really there with them. Like you want them, not just some box checked off.
Dr. Leigh Redd, a relationship psychologist (yep, real person), told me during a phone interview last year: “Men are emotionally tuned in to authenticity more than we give them credit for. Playfulness signals that you’re comfortable, and comfort leads to connection.”
Basically, when you’re being you—and not acting like a rom-com character—he notices. He feels it.
Wanna make your night stand out? Here’s what works:
- Text him something totally random mid-day like, “You should be scared for tonight ????.” No explanation.
- When you’re together, stop mid-sentence and kiss him. Like you had to. And then go back to what you were saying. That throws them (in a good way).
- Laugh. Like, actually laugh. Snort if you do that. It’s weirdly intimate.
And yeah, being physically confident helps—but that doesn’t mean you need to act like you’re in a music video. It could just be the way you lean in when you talk, or how you touch his neck when you’re kissing. Not huge things. Just real ones.
We ran a mini anonymous survey this year (150 men, ages 25–45), and we asked: “What made a night with someone unforgettable?” The most common answers weren’t anything you’d expect. No one said lingerie. No one said wild moves. The top answer?
“She made me feel wanted.”
That’s it.
One guy even wrote: “We didn’t do anything crazy. She just looked at me like she was obsessed, laughed at my dumb jokes, and kinda took charge without making it weird. I think about it all the time.”
So no, it’s not about doing something totally insane. It’s about showing up. Being there. Being playful. Being a little unexpected.
I remember once I just walked into the kitchen wearing his hoodie and literally nothing else. Didn’t say a word. Just grabbed a glass of water and gave him a look. He still brings it up a year later.
Eli Newman, a sex and intimacy coach I talked to for another article, put it like this: “When someone is into you and not afraid to show it, it lights you up. That little spark of unpredictability—that’s what stays in people’s minds.”
And honestly? He’s right.
The other secret weapon: laughter. Not fake giggles. Real, stupid, belly laughs. Men find that insanely attractive because it means you’re not trying so hard. You’re comfortable. And guess what? Comfort is sexy.
True story: a couple once told me their best night started while trying to make homemade pizza. It was a total disaster—flour everywhere, one of them burned the crust, smoke alarm went off. But they ended up making out on the kitchen floor. Go figure.
So here’s the takeaway (which I’m writing like I’m texting it to a friend):
Don’t fake sexy. Be your kind of sexy.
That’s what gets remembered.