Weird compliments that don’t feel right
Like when someone says, “Wow, you actually look nice today.” What do you even say to that? Thanks… I guess? One of my old friends used to do this a lot. I’d be feeling good, then she’d throw out one of those comments that kind of deflates the whole vibe. It’s not mean, exactly, but it doesn’t feel supportive either.
The one-upper
You tell them you got a raise, and suddenly they’ve got some bigger, better thing going on. It’s not even a competition, but they make it feel like one. I remember telling a friend I’d finally hit a goal at the gym, and he instantly started flexing about how much more he could lift. Cool story, man.
They get clingy or weird when you hang out with others
I’ve had friends who got low-key mad if I made plans without them. Sometimes it was guilt trips—“Guess I’m not fun enough anymore”—and sometimes it was just cold silence. It makes hanging out with other people feel like something you need to hide, which is ridiculous.
Copying your stuff all the time
Once or twice, sure, whatever. But when it keeps happening, it gets awkward. I dyed my hair blonde once, and two weeks later my friend shows up with the exact same shade, acting like it was her idea. Another time I started a new hobby, and suddenly my friend was all in, acting like she’d been doing it for years. It’s not the end of the world, but it starts to feel weird when it’s a pattern.
Talking behind your back, or just making “jokes”
Some people like to dress up jealousy as humor. “Just messing with you,” they say, but it always stings a little. I had a friend who’d casually joke about how I only got my job because I “knew someone.” Not true—and definitely not funny. It’s that kind of thing where they act like it’s lighthearted, but it’s kind of mean.
Acting cold when you talk about new people
Ever mentioned a new friend or someone you’re dating, and suddenly your friend is quiet or dismissive? “Oh, cool,” they say, but their face says otherwise. I remember telling a friend about someone new I was seeing, and she immediately started pointing out all the things that might be wrong with him. Didn’t ask.
No reaction to your good news
Some friends just… don’t react. You tell them something great, and they give you the most neutral “Nice.” Or they ignore it completely and switch to talking about themselves. It’s disappointing when you want to celebrate and your friend just doesn’t meet you there.
They vanish when you’re doing well
This one’s subtle, but real. You start doing better—new job, new relationship, new mindset—and they kind of disappear. It’s not dramatic, just quiet. Less texting, less hanging out. Then they pop back up when things settle down. It’s like they only want to be around when they don’t feel left behind.
Too much fake support
Sometimes it’s the opposite—they act too hyped, but it feels off. Like, they say “OMG so happy for you!!” but it sounds like a script. Then five seconds later, they’re back to talking about their own problems. That fake energy is almost worse than silence.
Turning your happy moments into their sad ones
You get something new and exciting, and suddenly it’s a pity party: “I could never pull that off, I’m such a mess.” You’re out here trying to enjoy a moment, and now you’re stuck reassuring them. Happens more than you'd think.
Why they act like that
Probably insecurity. Maybe they feel like you’re moving ahead while they’re stuck. It’s not really about you—it’s about how they see themselves. I had one friend who got super distant when I started dating someone seriously. I guess it made her feel like things were changing, and she didn’t know where she fit anymore.
What it does to you
Honestly, it’s tiring. It makes you second-guess whether you can share stuff, and that’s not what friendship’s supposed to feel like. I started pulling back from a couple of people just because it felt easier than dealing with their reactions all the time. Doesn’t mean you stop caring about them—it just means you care about yourself too.
So what can you do?
You can try talking about it. Sometimes that helps. Other times, it doesn’t. I’ve had conversations where I was like, “Hey, is everything okay?” and the person just brushed it off or got defensive. You kind of have to decide if it’s worth pushing through, or if it’s better to take a step back.
Some people you just outgrow. That’s not a bad thing. Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever, especially if they make you feel small when you’re trying to grow.
Final thoughts
Not all friendships are built to last. Jealousy doesn’t always show up with drama—it’s often just a low-level hum that wears you out over time. If someone keeps making you feel bad for doing well, that’s a red flag, even if they’ve been around a long time.
Pay attention to how people respond to your happiness. That says more than any words ever could.