Be real with yourself
The hardest part is admitting that something isn’t working. It’s easy to make excuses for people, especially when you have history. But if a relationship—friendship, romance, family, whatever—is draining you more than it’s adding to your life, that’s your sign. No need for dramatic proof or some grand betrayal. If you’re tired, frustrated, or constantly questioning why you keep putting up with it, that’s enough.
Pull back—without the big announcement
You don’t need to write a speech or send a long text explaining why you’re distancing yourself. Just start doing it. Reply less. Stop being the first to reach out. Don’t make yourself so available. A lot of times, people naturally drift apart when one person stops feeding the connection. If they notice and ask, you can be honest, but you don’t owe anyone a deep explanation.
No “just checking in” messages
Oh, this one’s tough. You’ll get the urge to check their social media, ask mutual friends about them, or send a casual “hope you’re doing well” text. Don’t do it. Every time you check in, you’re dragging yourself back in. Out of sight, out of mind is a real thing—use it to your advantage.
Guilt is not a reason to stay
Feeling bad about letting go? That’s normal. But guilt isn’t a reason to keep someone in your life. If they made you feel bad more than they made you feel good, you don’t owe them anything. Even if they were once important. Even if they don’t understand why you’re pulling away. Choosing your peace isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.
Fill the empty space
Once you stop focusing on this person, there’s going to be a gap. Don’t leave it empty—fill it with things that actually make you happy. Hang out with people who support you. Pick up a hobby you used to love. Start watching that show you never had time for. If all else fails, distract yourself with some self-care (yes, eating chocolate in bed counts). The less time you have to sit around missing them, the easier it gets.
Expect withdrawal
Letting go of someone can feel weird. Even if you know it’s the right move, you might miss them, feel lonely, or start second-guessing yourself. That’s normal. But just like with any bad habit, the longer you go without giving in, the easier it gets.
Forget about “closure”
People love to act like you need some deep conversation to get closure. But the truth? You don’t. You don’t need an apology. You don’t need one last chat where everything suddenly makes sense. You don’t need them to acknowledge what went wrong. Sometimes, you just have to close the door yourself and move on.
Take it day by day
You won’t wake up tomorrow completely over it. Some days will be easy, others will be annoying. But every time you choose yourself over the person who drained you, you’re winning. And one day, you’ll realize they don’t take up space in your mind anymore. That’s when you know you’re truly free.