So, what’s the problem?
A lie of omission isn’t technically a lie in the way people usually think about lying. It’s more about carefully choosing what parts of the truth to share and which ones to quietly leave out.
For example, imagine someone tells their partner, "I grabbed dinner with a friend tonight." Sounds totally fine, right? But what if that "friend" is actually an ex, and they intentionally skipped that detail? They didn't lie, exactly, but they sure weren’t completely honest either.
Why do people do this?
There are a bunch of reasons someone might keep certain details to themselves. Some are a little shady, some feel more justified, but here are the main ones:
- Avoiding drama – If saying the full truth is going to lead to an argument, leaving out the tricky part seems like the easier option.
- Saving face – No one wants to look bad, so sometimes, people tweak the truth by leaving out the messy parts.
- Dodging consequences – If admitting something would get them into trouble, silence suddenly seems like a solid plan.
- Thinking they’re doing the “right thing” – Some people convince themselves that certain truths will only cause unnecessary pain, so they hold back “for the other person’s sake.”
Is it really that bad?
Some argue that not saying something isn’t the same as lying. They’ll say, "Hey, I never actually lied!" But if someone is keeping something to themselves because they know it would change the way another person sees things, they’re still being deceptive.
Studies have found that when people realize they’ve been misled this way, they feel just as betrayed as if they had been directly lied to. Because at the end of the day, it’s not just about honesty—it’s about trust. And once trust takes a hit, it’s tough to rebuild.
Where you see this all the time
Lies of omission happen everywhere—at home, in relationships, at work, even in advertising. Here are a few examples:
- In relationships – Someone doesn’t mention texting their ex because they “didn’t think it was important.”
- At work – A company announces an exciting new project but forgets to mention the budget cuts coming next month.
- With friends – A friend tells you about a fun night out but doesn’t mention that your ex was there, knowing you’d want to know.
- In advertising – A skincare brand brags about being “natural” but conveniently doesn’t highlight the chemicals still packed into their products.
Once you start paying attention, you’ll see these half-truths everywhere.
Is it ever justified?
Not every detail needs to be shared all the time. If a stranger asks personal questions, you don’t owe them full honesty. If your friend gets a terrible haircut, you’re not obligated to give them the brutal truth.
But if someone keeps quiet about something because they know it would change how the other person feels—and not in a good way—that’s where the problem starts.
How to spot it (and avoid doing it yourself)
A lie of omission is tricky because it’s about what isn’t being said. But there are some red flags:
- Vague answers – If someone’s being weirdly non-specific, there’s probably more to the story.
- Dodging direct questions – If asking for details makes them uncomfortable, they might be hiding something.
- Only sharing the good parts – If they always leave out the messy bits but highlight what makes them look good, that’s a sign.
And if you notice yourself leaving something out? Ask yourself why. If the answer is, “because they’d be upset” or “because I don’t want to deal with their reaction,” then it’s probably not as harmless as you’d like to think.
Why it matters
A lie of omission might seem small, but it can change everything. When people only get part of the truth, they aren’t actually making decisions based on reality. And if the truth has to be carefully edited to keep things running smoothly, maybe the real problem isn’t the truth itself but the situation it’s being hidden from.Not every little thing in life has to be shared, but if the only way to keep the peace is to leave something out, then maybe there’s a bigger issue underneath.