If you're like most folks, you probably answer "Fine" or "Good" when someone inquires about your well-being. Why not shake things up a bit with some clever and amusing responses to "How are you?" This is a question that crops up every day.
Usually, we reply that we're okay or well. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. However, it doesn't exactly foster an ongoing conversation.
If you're looking to stand out or tired of using the same old "replies to how are you", take a look at the following alternatives.
Alternatives to "Doing Well"
- Somewhere in the middle of good and perfect.
- Feeling better since you asked.
- Oh, you flatter me! (Say it as if they've paid you a compliment, even when they haven't. It's all in good fun.)
- My spirits lifted the moment you appeared.
- Minding my own affairs? Better than most.
- I'm as ecstatic as a flea on a particularly plump hound.
- Do you genuinely want to know?
- Equipped and prepared!
- My attorney has advised me not to respond to that query.
- My life's been a rollercoaster ride recently. Is everything smooth sailing on your end?
- Much like you, only superior.
- On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd rate myself as a [insert number here].
- I was doing just fine until you showed up.
- If I felt any better, I'd bring you onboard to enjoy it with me.
- I've heard favorable reports, but it's best not to trust gossip.
- Like a bulldog in a sausage factory [or any other ridiculous metaphor].
- Living in a dream. Don't dare wake me up.
- The good news is, there's plenty of scope for improvement!
- I'm pretty much the norm right now.
- Doing fine, unless you're planning a surprise attack.
- I'm content and joyous, thank you.
- Compared to whom?
- Well enough to carry on a conversation if you wish.
- Going splendidly. Hoping the rest of the day maintains this status quo.
- Physically? Emotionally? Spiritually? Economically? Financially? Not sure which aspect you're inquiring about!?!
- Odd, and getting odder.
- Not great, but I plan to give a positive spin at my press conference.
- Opinions vary: What's your take?
- I appreciate the concern, though you can judge for yourself.
- According to the grapevine, I'm doing splendidly.
Quirky replies to how are you
- Overwhelmed with work, underwhelmed with pay.
- Complaining doesn't help. No one's paying any heed anyway.
- Satisfactory. (This response will surely pique their curiosity.)
- If I were any better, I'd be your clone.
- Not so hot, does that irk you?
- As delightful and fluffy as cotton candy.
- Complaining isn't tolerated by our Company Policy.
- Ordinary. Not outstanding, not dismal, just ordinary.
- If I were any better, I'd be illegal.
- So far, so good!
- Feeling better now that we're chatting.
- I haven't had my morning cup of joe yet, and no casualties reported, so I'd say we're off to a good start.
- Perhaps one day you'll be fortunate enough to find out.
- Sweet as sugar, like a carnival treat.
- That depends on the comparison.
- Breathing and vertical.
- Doctors gave me a green light.
- Your turn, for comparison's sake.
- Clapping my hands, cause I'm happy.
- Still figuring that one out.
- I'm in my thirties, feeling like I've hit a century.
- Can't whine. Seems like no one cares.
- Ready to hit the sack.
- Could've been payday today.
- Could use a good rubdown.
- Superb, wonderful, and stellar, except on the inside.
- Busy battling mythical beasts. What about you?
- Rumor has it, I'm not too shabby.
- Top-notch! But then, I might be a bit biased.
- Swaying to life's rhythm. Pity I can't carry a tune.
- Teetering on the brink of fabulousness.
- I'm premium quality, organic, and grass-fed to boot.
- Feeling medium-well.
- Living the dream!
- On the brink of extinction.
- Dragon hunting. What about you?
- I had sworn to eliminate the next person who asked me that, but I'll spare you.
- [speaks incoherently]
- Your attempt at social interaction is officially recognized.
- Not today, Satan!
[Read: Unlocking Laughter: Expert Tips on How to Be Funny and Charm Your Audience]
Cheeky Replies for How Are You?
- Exceptionally good-looking.
- Things would be better if you'd invite me on a date.
- Superb! But, then again, I might be biased.
- How am I...in bed? (Wait, what?!)
- Looking outrageously good
- Improving with every passing second.
- Smooth and refined, like a vintage Cabernet.
- What a presumptuous question to ask a lady [or a gentleman]!
- If I were any finer, I'd be porcelain.
- Living a dream. Don't shake me awake. You're welcome to join me. There's plenty of room.
- Busy conquering the world.
- The best version of me possible. Hoping you're at your best as well.
- I'm so terrific, I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from applauding.