And it gets better (or worse, depending on the day). Because there isn’t just one kind of kiss. Nope. There are probably a dozen or more. Romantic ones. Weird ones. Accidental nose-bump ones. The kind that makes you feel like you’re floating. The kind that makes you check your breath twice afterward just to be sure it wasn’t your fault.
I started thinking about this because I had a kiss recently that left me completely baffled. It was like the person was trying to lick my teeth from the inside. I’m still haunted. So I texted a couple friends, casually asked coworkers (some of whom got way too enthusiastic), and basically conducted the most low-budget kiss research project you can imagine. And now I have stories.
So here they are. The types of kisses nobody teaches you about, but almost everyone experiences at some point. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
The “is it happening or not?” kiss
You know this one. You’re standing close. There’s that almost moment. You both sort of lean in, then out, then in again. You’re not sure who’s going for it first. It’s like watching two confused cats try to walk through the same doorway. Eventually it lands... somehow. Half cheek, half lip, 100% awkward. Still counts, though.
The “lizard”
Sorry, but this deserves its own category. This is the kiss where the other person sticks their tongue out too soon, too fast, like a dart. There's no buildup. It’s just suddenly... tongue. It’s shocking. A little unsettling. Sometimes you wonder if they even kissed you or just tagged you with their mouth.
The forehead kiss (aka emotional overload)
This one. Oof. Hits hard. You’re sitting there after a long day, maybe on the couch, maybe in bed. They lean in and just rest a kiss gently on your forehead. You didn’t ask for it, you weren’t expecting it, but now you’re on the verge of tears. It’s not even romantic all the time. It can be protective. Soothing. The emotional equivalent of a warm blanket.
The “public but trying to be cool about it” kiss
Some people are naturals at PDA. Most of us are not. This kiss usually happens when one person goes in for a quick one and the other half-leans away like, “Whoa, we’re in line for tacos.” It’s cute, a little clumsy, and always slightly mistimed. But honestly? The awkward ones are better than the over-performers.
The full-body kiss
This one’s intense. It’s not just lips—it’s arms, hands, possibly knees. It usually happens when you’ve been waiting for it all night. Sometimes it’s against a wall. Sometimes it makes you forget your own name. Occasionally, it knocks over a lamp.
The “robot”
There’s always that one kiss that makes you feel like you’re kissing a statue. Their mouth is there, sure. But it’s... motionless. They’re just letting you do the work, like they’re clocking in for a shift they don’t want. Emotionally, it’s like making out with a cold bagel.
The giggle kiss
Honestly underrated. You kiss, but then someone starts laughing. Maybe because your noses bumped, or someone made a weird sound, or you both realized it’s way too early to be this into each other. It doesn’t ruin the moment—it makes it better. A kiss with built-in humor? Top tier.
The “let’s fix this” kiss
After a fight. Tense silence. One of you sighs. Then suddenly you’re kissing, and it’s kind of desperate. Like, “I hate how much I still want to be close to you even when we’re mad.” Doesn’t mean the fight’s over. But it’s a crack in the wall. A little one.
The distracted kiss
One of you is focused on something else—TV, phone, folding laundry—and the other plants a quick kiss out of habit or love or just because. Sometimes you barely register it. Sometimes it makes you pause and smile. Either way, it’s low-key adorable.
The “accidental audience” kiss
You go in for a kiss and realize someone is watching. A parent, a dog, a group of children on a field trip. You panic. You either kiss faster or don’t kiss at all. Later you replay the moment in your head 50 times, wondering if it was cute or mortifying.
The kiss that changes everything
This one’s rare. You’re not sure how you feel about someone until the second your lips touch and suddenly—bam. Your brain goes quiet. Something clicks. You’re in it now, whether you planned to be or not.
I asked a therapist about that once, why some kisses feel almost... revealing. She said, “There’s physical chemistry, of course, but there’s also vulnerability. Some people communicate more in a kiss than they do in a full conversation.” (That was Dr. L., who sees couples and probably has a vault of kiss-related anecdotes.)
The messy “I missed your mouth” kiss
People always act like kissing is elegant. It’s not. Especially when you're both going in blind. Sometimes you hit the cheek. Sometimes it's a chin or an eyelash. And every once in a while, you completely miss each other like two bumper cars. It’s dumb and perfect.
Look, kissing isn’t one-size-fits-all. Sometimes it’s gentle. Sometimes it’s confusing. Sometimes it’s the only good part of a date. Other times it’s the part you pretend didn’t happen.
It doesn’t always have to mean something. But sometimes—when you least expect it—it does. And that’s why we keep doing it. Because there’s always the chance that this kiss, this time, will hit different. Will land just right. Will be the one you think about next week, next year, or when you're trying to fall asleep and your brain decides, "Hey, remember that?"
Kissing is weird. Kissing is great. Kissing is human.And if you’re lucky? It doesn’t stop being a little surprising.